A Work in Progress
by denytheworld
Summary: In which fourteen years does make a difference. Romance takes a little detour. AU smoace
1. 1 to 4

1.

He hadn't been expecting this when Hina had called him over. Actually, he hadn't expected Hina to approach him at all. Outside of drills and class, Hina tended to move in her own circles.

"What the _hell_, Hina?" He had no time for this shit. If he didn't finish his chores by dinner – he wasn't getting any. The Commander had been _very_ clear about this.

Hina either wasn't aware of his assigned task this afternoon or just didn't care. Either way, to expect some sympathy from this demon was stupid. Smoker should have known better.

He did get a prompt smack upside the head for his reaction though. The baleful glare that pinned him in his place was just the cherry on top. Smoker merely grits his teeth but did not gift his peer with a retaliatory blow. Normally, an act like that would have him at her throat. Why the sudden change?

Well, Smoker might be a punk picked off of the back alleys of Loguetown, meaning he was perpetually spoiling for a fight – but even he drew the line at involving innocents. Hina knew that as well.

How the hell she knew that about him, how she knows _anything_ about him still perplexes him greatly. But Smoker has already learned early on that anything Hina did or say that confused him should be filed away in his mind and promptly forgotten. Any other course of action would get him to no ends of trouble.

Hina probably knew that too.

Damn her.

"Don't be so loud! You'll wake him, Smoker-kun."

Too late for that, Smoker noted with a scowl. The _thing_ was stirring in her arms. It did _not_ look happy to be awoken either.

The sight of Hina rocking the dark-haired infant was unsettling his stomach. The hard as nails Hina he knew would not be acting like this. "Why do you have a _baby_?" Smoker hissed lowly. "Put it back!"

"Hina doesn't appreciate your tone, Smoker-kun."

Well, he didn't appreciate being punished some more – but Hina obviously didn't appreciate _that_ either. Damn it! He was _not_ going to be an accomplice to this kidnapping!

2.

It was awake.

It was smiling.

It was smiling at _him_.

Something was wrong here.

There was something about that baby Smoker didn't like. Maybe it wasn't something but just that baby in its entirety that put him off. That its demonic grin took up half of its entire face…or maybe because it was with Hina certainly wasn't reassuring Smoker in any way, shape, or form.

The way that it made Hina coo did _not_ endear it any more in Smoker's graces.

It was actually downright unnerving.

Over the past few weeks since he's met his ally of sorts – he had learned quickly and painfully that nothing good happens to him when Hina was involved. That pink-haired demon was nice and harmless to everyone – everyone _but_ Smoker. She had found great joy in using her damn Devil Fruit abilities in order to coerce him into humiliating subservience. Honestly, insult a girl _once_…

"Why do you have a baby?" Smoker almost didn't want to know at this point but had to ask again. But he had _just_ received punishment from the Commander, and he was _not _looking for more trouble despite how easily he got himself into messes.

"Hina found him."

His temple throbbed. _Obviously_, she found it. Being difficult was Hina's default setting so Smoker didn't put up much of a fight. "Okay…"

3.

"What the hell is it – "

"Hina disgusted."

"Yeah, Smoker disgusted too." Smoker replied snidely, purposely mocking the demon's speech.

"He's… _smiling_." Hina noted, her youthful face drawn into a mask of confusion. "…at _you_."

The incredulous tone would have been insulting if Smoker wasn't also just as put off. His encounters with younger children usually ended up in someone crying.

"Yeah…"

"Hina doesn't like him anymore." Hina sniffed delicately. Smoker couldn't help but smirk. The thing had taken one glance up at the pink-haired girl and started whimpering. Not that he could blame it. Sometimes, Smoker felt like it too. _Not_ that he would ever do it.

Smoker scowled. Yes, never.

Hina shoved the wrestling ball of baby into his chest. It was a testament to his reflexes that Smoker caught it when he did. "You keep him."

"_Hina_, what the _fuck!_ Get _back _here!"

"Hina will go now." She smiled pleasantly and patted him on the shoulder. "Hina promised Commander that she'll visit before afternoon drills. Be good, Smoker-kun."

"HINA!"

4.

He stared.

It stared back.

"Stay." Smoker intoned, as gravely as a fourteen year old could.

He shifted an inch. Dark eyes widened.

Half a step backwards. Those eyes were getting dangerously misty, Smoker noted, not without some apprehension.

Smoker felt his stomach drop. Oh no.

It was _that_ feeling.

He always got _that feeling_ when he was about to get into a huge shit load of trouble. He _did not want trouble._

One more step. Turn around. Walk away. Easy, peasy lemon – a whimper.

Oh no.

The heavy feeling settled in his stomach and stayed.

He was so fucking _doomed_.

The pout disappeared as soon as he reached for the mass of manipulating baby. The cute baby blue onesie did nothing to distract Smoker from its evil. Smoker knew better. "You win this time, brat." Bright, devious eyes glinted, as if to say, 'it's only just begun'.

The baby cooed softly in Smoker's awkward hold, completely content in the crook of his arm. So content was it that small clammy hands immediately started to tug and pull with amazing coordination.

Paying the brat no mind, Smoker assessed the sun's position against the sky and decided, yes, there was still time. He still had chores to finish - and hopefully, some scraps from dinner to scavenge. But he couldn't just leave the brat. Damn it, he had _morals_.

No, he can still finish his tasks – even with brat in tow. It couldn't be harder than training. It couldn't be harder than surprise drills. It _definitely_ couldn't be harder than Commander's special brand of discipline.

Cool grey eyes clashed with dark ones. His gaze was challenging while its gaze was surprisingly docile. That did it.

"It can't be that hard."

Famous last words…


	2. 5 to 8

5.

The halls were always dirty.

That wasn't so much of a surprise. More than a hundred pair of feet traipsed through this path to and from drills, every single day of the week. And as one of those perpetually tired and frustrated recruits, Smoker knew that he had never cared about what muck was found on his boots when he was far too concerned with what_shit _was stuck in his hair.

So, Smoker wouldn't have thought twice about the state of the halls - but today, he was tasked with maintaining its cleanliness.

Smoker suspected that these halls had never been clean to begin with.

Still, Smoker was a dutiful young recruit and cleaning sure as hell beat filing. He had been filing backlogged reports for months after the last _incident_. The Commander really knew where to hurt a man. And so, with a tiny baby tucked under one arm, Smoker gamely started his work.

-

Cleaning was a lot easier when he was left alone. The idiots he had beat up and who had subsequently reported him to the Commander in the first place had shown up. Smoker didn't need to ask what they wanted from him.

So, even if it killed him to keep still and watch, he did.

It wasn't like he had cleaned a lot when they arrived.

_10...9...8... _The Academy's therapist had suggested that he count backwards from ten when he was stressed. It hadn't worked. Smoker's inner mantra sounded like a mixture of Hina and his mother. This pissed him off beyond belief. _7...6...5..._ And the therapist had never told him what to do after he reached _zero_ and the source of his anger was still present. The idiots had kicked over his pail of water and were joyfully howling away as they skidded over the halls in their muddy boots. _4...3...2... Damn it._

This counting shit wasn't going to work.

_The Commander will kill you. The Commander will kill you. The Commander will kill you..._

He inhaled, in an odd state of calm. He wasn't going to beat their asses again (no matter how easy it would be for him and how much he wanted to) just so they can rat him out again. Bunch of fucking cowards, hiding behind the Commander like that. Marines like that were no good to the world - worse than pirates, in his book. Anyone who hides behind a higher authority yet had the nerve to reap the rewards are scum.

Smoker sincerely hopes that they drop out.

And after the group - dumb, dumber and borderline brain dead finally left, Smoker let out a longsuffering sigh, unclenched his fists and got back to work.

He took a second to make sure the pain in the ass brat in all of his baby blue glory was still tucked up, silently napping, out of everyone's way. Confirmed. Smoker continued, secretly glad that his new mantra really did work.

The Commander might really kill him one day.

-

He was done. It took an extra thirty minutes longer than expected. But he was done.

He'll have to haul ass on his next few tasks, but he might, just _might_, make it to the mess hall in time. That brightened his mood significantly.

"Eehehehehehe...hee!"

_The feeling was back._

_Crash! _The sound of water spilling. The uniform sound of a herd of approaching feet.

Smoker spun on his feet and barely had the time to scoop up the brat before the hall was filled.

Pandemonium.

Slipping, yelling, bumping and papers fluttered _everywhere_.

The new reports had _just_ come in. They always came this way to be delivered immediately to the Commander, Smoker realized belatedly. So urgent and demanding was the Commander that very little got between the CO and the news. And pity the fool who got in the way of this regular delivery.

Smoker groaned.

Fool indeed.

The demon-brat clapped his hands to the beat of skidding bodies and laughed.

6.

He had made a slight miscalculation then.

He had underestimated the trouble this brat could cause. He _still _couldn't foist the thing onto someone else. He couldn't explain where he got the brat, who the brat was or _why_ he had him. And he couldn't find Hina. Damn that girl. And while he can just force someone to watch the brat... he wasn't sure if they'd treat him -_it_ properly.

Smoker fumed as he stared at the unrepentant thing. He was getting soft and he wasn't even in his thirties yet!

Well, he learned his lesson alright. He can't afford to lose sight of him for one second. _That_ could be easily remedied. All Smoker had to do was sacrifice a bit of his dignity. But that was alright to the youth.

All for the sake of dinner.

The sling was tied securely around his torso. Nestled into his chest was the demon itself. No, not Hina. The other one.

Smoker had, after spending a good hour or so with it, decided to dub it demon spawn. It _had _come from Hina, in some loose sense. Which was something he'll never forgive her for, naturally.

And so, with his wayward charge quite securely confined, Smoker was ready to perform his next duty - all for the sake of dinner, of course.

-

Garbage disposal was not a walk in the park. It _smelled._

Marines were filthy.

And while Smoker had no problem ignoring the stench, someone was obviously having issues. Just when Smoker was about done, the thing had woken up. It immediately tried to escape its foul smelling prison. What the brat didn't realize, Smoker thought wryly, was that no matter how bad it smelled in the folds of the sling, it smelled ten times worse where Smoker was standing.

The brat learned the hard way, of course.

Smoker was beginning to realize that nothing associated with the brat came easy. Yet another thing it shared in common with his _mother. _

He had been at the top of the ladder, ready to descend after throwing in the last bags, when the brat fucking _popped right out_ and fell in.

What else was Smoker to do?

-

And so, smelling like last week's mystery meat and unwashed socks, Smoker moved on to his last task.

But Demon Spawn needed to feed first.

7.

There was one domain in the Academy that no one dared to enter - not even the Commander. That legendary place was the kitchen. It was the very heart of the institution and as such, any disturbance to it will cause over a hundred Marines to go hungry (for who knows how long). The kitchen was subsequently guarded by a small platoon of kitchen staff headed by one fierce tyrant - Chef Cordo.

Smoker - as he was uncomfortably aware after spending an afternoon with the brat - had found many, many new things he wasn't willing to do. On the very top of that list was step foot in the Chef's kitchen and ask for food. To the Chef, a person only needed three meals a day and nothing less, nothing more. To ask for more food was to ask for death.

Which was why he wasn't going to ask.

-

There had been crying. There had been a ruined souffle. There had been the Chef's wrath.

Smoker was willing to remember that much - and no matter what Hina did to him, he wasn't going to reveal anymore.

8.

They found him sitting pathetically in the brig. Just _why_ an Academy would have a brig, no one really knew. But the older members of the staff swore up and down that the brig hadn't been in any condition to house... delinquents (like Smoker) before the Commander had taken control of the post. Apparently, it was the first part of the Academy that was repaired.

Yes, it seemed like something the Commander would do.

So, in the dank underbelly of the Commander's lair, Smoker waited. The thing had been confiscated from him what felt like hours ago and if Smoker was honest, he would have liked some company in this hole. _Not_ that the source of his problems would be any company at all...

Actually, without the brat, he wouldn't be in this mess in the first place!

"Fucking brat." Smoker swore lowly. As soon as he got out of there, _he... wait. _

No matter how much a child pissed him off, he can't go around punching out babies. Someone, somewhere might find that offensive. Even if he _did_ grow up in pirate haven.

Smoker quickly found another target for his anger.

As was most situations, the one responsible and the one to be blamed was one in the same. "Fucking Hina."

"That's not very nice, Smoker-kun." That voice was smug and Smoker could recognize it anywhere as Hina's. "I've come all this way to rescue you too." Three sets of footsteps echoed as they neared him. Smoker already noted the light steps that were Hina's trademark. That girl had always been light on her feet, which made her impossible to catch during training. Her companion, on the other hand...

"BWAHAHAHAHAH! So _you're _the one who took my little grandson."

Smoker sputtered, but Hina spoke for him. "Hina told Smoker to take good care of Ace-chan, sir."

"Hey, wait - _Hina_."

Like _hell_ he wanted anything to do with that brat!

"Well, Ace-chaaaaaan, did you have fun today~?"

A set of high-pitched giggles echoed in the vast holding cells. Smoker twitched. What kind of nutjob brought an _infant _to a brig - Commander Trish's brig at that?

"Hmm..." The dreaded tones of the Commander came next. As usual, she did not sound very impressed. "Vice-Admiral Garp, you have seen this _recruit_ -" She said the word, but she really meant _piece of shit. _"Rest assured that he will be properly disciplined."

Very faintly, Smoker heard a scream in the back of his mind. Oh no problem, just another part of his sanity chipping away.

"Ah, very well then." The large man moved closer. "Say good-bye, Ace-chan!"

Was that man really a Vice-Admiral?

The infant was thrust roughly up against the bars of his cell. The action had so much force in it that the thing almost smacked its forehead against the bars. Probably used to such rough handling, the baby hadn't even flinched. Its face almost split in half under that large, _scary_ grin. "Heheheheheheee!" It waved.

Vice-Admiral Garp was promptly led out of the brig by Hina, leaving behind Commander Trish to present him with his death sentence. Silence hung between them as they assessed one another. Smoker was sure she could smell his fear and only half-heartedly tried to rally his nerves. That woman was a beast.

But, instead of screaming, delivering threats a mile a minute, she merely crossed her arms and smiled. Narrowed grey eyes glinted dangerously in what little light the brig held. "W-well, what's it going to be, Commander?"

"You've made quite a few enemies today, Smoker-chan." Meaning she didn't need to assign some punishment.

Someone will do her dirty work for her.

..._shit_.


	3. 9 to 11

9.

Commander Trish hadn't so much as breathed in his direction after Vice Admiral Garp's visit last year. Hell, the woman probably pitied him - if Smoker wasn't so sure she was incapable of compassion. Chef Cordo had not made life any easier for him over the past year. Anything Commander Trish might think up of as punishment would pale in comparison anyways.

Nothing like the possibility of arsenic in his soup to get a recruit to behave.

Damn it! It had been one stupid souffle! ...And a few pots and pans, but apparently, that warranted a lifetime's serving of burnt to a crisp leather boots. His treatment was so poor that even Hina offered to share her meals with him.

_Hina._

The Devil herself felt sorry for him. How he had fallen.

So, when Commander Trish specifically called on him to speak privately, he knew he was in deep shit. Ignoring the snickers and jeers from the others, Smoker made his way to the Commander's offices. All the while, he desperately racked his brains for any possible offences he might have committed. Dread settled when he came up with nothing.

The only thing worse than facing the Commander's wrath was when you were facing the Commander's wrath while unaware of your transgressions. Bosco had been in ICU for a week after _his_ interview with the Commander. And the scrawny recruit still refused to disclose any information about the encounter, much to Hina's consternation.

Hina was such a busybody.

Commander Trish met him outside of her offices. The door was closed behind her, which was odd. Despite - or perhaps because of - her hard as nails persona and hair-trigger temper, she had adopted an open door policy to all at the Academy. So far, Hina was the only one ballsy enough to actually drop in on her own initiative.

"Commander Trish, you wanted to see me?"

"Get in, punk."

What? He was unceremoniously shoved into her offices and the door slammed firmly shut behind him. Just what the hell was going on here?

It was Vice Admiral Garp. "Tea?"

He was going to die.

"...Thank you, sir."

10.

"He's going to be a marine, you know."

"...yes, sir?"

"A fine, upstanding _strong_ marine."

"...of course, sir."

"_Exactly_ like his grandfather!"

"...naturally, sir."

"Which is why I've decided to bring him into the Marines early!"

"...an excellent idea, sir."

"I am aware of that! So here you go."

"...thank you, sir."

"I'll be expecting him back by dinnertime, do you understand, Smoker-kun?"

"Of cou - _what, sir_?"

It was too late. The man was on the retreat, waving merrily as he sped off.

"You and Ace have fun, you hear?"

Smoker groaned.

11.

"He left you with his grandson."

"Yes."

"He just _gave_ you his grandson?!"

Considering his less than stellar record with his superiors, Smoker shouldn't be offended by his friend's incredulous tone. Still, to be questioned by **Bosco** of all people was downright demeaning. Weren't you supposed to worship the guy who beats up your bullies for you? Bosco obviously didn't follow the rules as much as he said he did.

"He left _you_ with an innocent toddler?!" Ah, Bosco was still going at it. Honestly, the scrawny teen was so dramatic - and blind to the true nature of the world. The spawn was far from innocent.

"I hate it." Smoker declared dully as he absently prodded the cooing toddler with a stick.

He had left the Commander's office, shell-shocked, with giggling Ace in tow. It was pure coincidence that Bosco had happened upon him. Thinking an extra pair of hands would help contain the monster, Smoker had introduced Bosco to one Portgas D. Ace. Bosco, unfortunately, had fallen to the enemy on the get-go. The weakling. "Smoker, should you be doing that to Vice Admiral Garp's grandson?"

Bosco had always been the voice of reason for Hina and Smoker. The purportedly 'normal' member of their trio was convinced that Devil Fruit users also lost their sanity along with their ability to swim. He may be right. Which only explained Hina, of course. For Smoker, Bosco merely cited Smoker had been born insane and gifted with the ability to piss every superior officer within a three mile radius off. Either way, Smoker and Hina needed a keeper - and that was _his _job.

Hina was always good with keeping herself out of trouble, so most of his efforts were spent (read: wasted) on Smoker. And if, on the off chance, Hina did end up in trouble, she _was_ rather friendly with the Commander and more importantly, with Smoker (despite their rather heated arguments and downright bloody scraps). Conveniently, the Commander also had it out for Smoker since day one. Most of her wrongdoings ended up listed in Smoker's records.

Smoker was aware of this conspiracy against him. Hell, the entire Academy was aware of it. Yet, the usually temperamental and ballsy punk did nothing. He was even on good (for him) terms with the beautiful girl! That was something Bosco would never understand about the two. He had joined their 'group' a littler later and there was always something _there_ between the two he didn't get. If it had been anyone else putting blame on him, they would have been beaten within an inch of their lives, that Bosco was sure of.

Prod. Prod. Prod.

"Smoker..."

Prod. Prod. Prod.

"I hate it."

Prod. Prod. Prod.

Bosco sighed. There was no talking to Smoker when he was in one of his _moods_. At least Ace didn't mind the abuse.


	4. 12 to 16

12.

Smoker had thought he could survive this experience relatively unscathed. He had been much too naive. More training was necessary.

Sure, he may have had Bosco to assist him, an additional year of training under his belt, previous experience handling the devil spawn... but... just like how he had advanced, baby Ace had upgraded into toddler Ace. And toddler Ace could walk, albeit clumsily. That was something he hadn't accounted for.

More training was necessary, for himself _and _for Bosco. This was his fault, for once.

"What do you mean, you _lost _him?!" His arms were gripped tightly, painfully by Smoker. The shaking was jarring and he could barely think under the strain of Smoker's intense glare. You know...for someone who claimed to not care at all for the toddler...

"Eh...Smoker, he's really quick for a toddler..."

"Bosco! The hell were you thinking, leaving him alone?!" Ah, more shaking. Yes, where was he? Right, for someone who claimed to not care about the toddler, Smoker had flipped out when he found him missing.

"It was just for _one _sec - " Defending himself was pointless. Smoker was on the warpath and nothing short of finding Ace would stop him, Bosco knew.

"Where is he now? What if he gets hurt?! I knew I should have - what are you _looking _at?"

"You...I guess." So it all came down to Ace.

"Stop gawking and go look for him! If something happens, Bosco, I _swear_..." Ace. Smoker. Ace. Smoker.

Bosco was always too smart for his own good. And what a gem his mind stumbled over today! With his rarely used shit-eating grin pasted carefully in place, Bosco declared gleefully, "You care about him."

That knocked the wind out of the grey-haired teen. So much so that his grip on Bosco's shoulder lessened. "It. The demon spawn is an it. I don't care about _it_. "

"Ah ha, it's too late to take it back, Smoker. You care about Ace!"

"You. Don't. Understand." Smoker ground out. Ah, back with the shaking, but by now, he was used to the rhythm. Bosco worried that Smoker might just grind his teeth into dust one day. The mounting hysteria in his voice was quite amusing, actually. Bosco could see where Hina was coming from with her daily exercise in Smoker-baiting.

"Oh, I do alright." Bosco leered. "Smoker's a big softie underneath that delinquent arrogant facade!"

"I...I- you - I - but - I - Ah!" Smoker looked like he was going to combust. This was the most frazzled he'd ever seen the teen since they first met. Even Lieutenant Commander Sheila's special middle of the night mock-invasions of the cabins didn't upset him as much. "JUST find the brat before we both die! The demon spawn can't be unleashed!"

"...ahem."

"Com- Com- Commander Trish!" Bosco whirled around, freeing himself from Smoker's desperate clutches. Smoker remained conspicuously silent as he glowered at the air.

"I believe _this_ belongs to _you_?" She held out a wriggling mass by the back of his onesie. Ace, covered in paint, soaking wet and looking all too pleased with himself. That little _shit._

"ACE!" The toddler cooed and reached out beseechingly to one frowning Smoker.

The teen didn't budge. There was no way in hell he was holding him after the panic attack he almost suffered because of him. Ace wasn't going to give up though. He cried out, using every bit of ' oh, how cute I am, obey me' wiles he possessed. Yet another thing he and Hina had in common, Smoker noted. It only pissed him off more.

The Commander was not a patient woman. Without a care or warning, she tossed the baby at Bosco, well aware that Smoker would not hold Ace, no matter how Ace begged for it or who implored him to.

"C-Commander!" Bosco gasped, apalled, as he dove for the toddler. Oddly enough, no one else had been outwardly concerned for the child's safety - not even the child in question. "Really, Ace -"

"What's the damage?" Smoker asked bluntly.

Bosco looked up from his fussing. "Damage? What do you mean?"

He was ignored - not surprising.

"At this rate," Commander Trish began, a note of amusement in her tone, "you'd be lucky to get out of the Academy with your life, Smoker."

Bosco gaped. What damage? What the hell? And why was Smoker _nodding_? Where was the blustering, the excuses, the demands for an explanation?

"What is the punishment?"

The Commander actually laughed. Gripping Ace to his chest, Bosco scowled, "Hold on, just what is going on here? Why is Smoker being punished?"

If possible, Commander Trish's amusement was mounting. "Not just Smoker. You as well, recruit."

"Why?!" In frightening unison, both the Commander and Smoker pointed at the delighted child in his arms. No way... "No way..." How could Smoker be _right_? "Ace was gone for ten minutes at most! _How _could he - ?"

"He got to the laundry, so you two best watch out for little _gift_ in your sheets from the chore boys from now on." Commander noted with wickedly repressed glee as she ticked off a finger, followed swiftly by another. "He also tracked paint all over the tracks - you two will have to clean that up, by the way." Another finger, "Broke a few walls down," and finally, one more. "And destroyed Lieutenant Sheila's prized tulips. Have a good day boys."

"_Now_ do you think he's so _innocent_?" Smoker hissed.

"I am sorry. I underestimated our enemy. I require more training."

13.

"Hina has good news and bad news for her Smoker-kun and Bosco-chan." The boys were sprawled out on the back lawns of the Academy. The past few days had been a trying, trying ordeal. Neither boy would wish it upon anyone else. After the disastrous first day with Ace - in which they'd earned the wrath of Lieutenant Commander Sheila, things had only gone downhill from there. Today, for example, they had barely outrun the Swordsmen Association in the Academy. Ace had gotten into their stores and quite effectively damaged _everything_. "Which should Hina tell first?"

"Just...just get it over with." Bosco groaned. Someone like Bosco, who had been aiming for a comfortable deskjob at Marine HQ had obviously been slacking on his physical training - something the members of the Swordsmen Association took great joy in taking advantage of. Bosco barely made it out alive.

Hina turned to their other friend for his input. Smoker sighed, "I don't care."

Hina pouted. "Hina disappointed. Clearly, you two are as incapable as ever. _Hina_ will decide." Smoker didn't even bother to protest or defend their competence. Most of their interactions with Hina ended up like this anyway. "Bad news is that Vice Admiral Garp will be leaving ahead of schedule with Ace-chan." Both boys relaxed. Oh, bad news indeed. "Good news, is that he'll be back next year and he'll be bringing Ace-chan back too!"

Bosco fainted.

"Tch. Weakling."

14.

"Please help me."

Three words that would have never left his mouth under any other circumstances.

There was a silence.

"Don't worry. I will." Four, even more unlikely words came out from hers.

If Smoker wasn't so relieved - and he was, so much so that he might just shed a tear - he would have laughed.

Commander Trish truly was a merciful woman.

15.

He was sent into town to run errands with the kitchen staff (who had finally forgiven him for Chef Cordo's souffle) the day Vice Admiral Garp's ship docked at port. Marsen, an officer candidate would be tasked with babysitting duty in his stead. Since he never particularly liked that uptight prick, Smoker hadn't even bothered warning Marsen about Ace.

And so, without a care in the world, Smoker was enjoying the closest thing he'd had to a day off since he first joined the Academy. After he had finished his errands and bought some requested items for his fellow classmates, he was free to linger.

He had, as most sixteen year old boys did, found himself in the company of a civilian girl, Miki. She was nice. She was pretty. She was smart - _not_ the sadistically evil smart like Hina. Smoker rather liked her - which was rare for the sullen teen. Things were going pretty well too. Sure, he had technically knocked her over accidentally, but he managed to smooth everything out with tea (Garp was right, actually, tea did make things better).

"Aaaawww, he's so_cute_!" The damned feeling was back. Oh fuck no. Please, please, please no. Not now. Not with Miki around. "Do you know him, Smoker-kun?"

Something tugged on his pant leg and Smoker glanced down to meet happy dark eyes. Why was he_not _surprised? "I...he...well..." He struggled uselessly to explain.

"Up." It should be illegal to make brats this adorable - no, wait, obnoxious.

"Pick him up, Smoker-kun!" Miki practically beamed. If he didn't obey, he might as well kiss his social life good-bye. It was hard to make friends, let alone civilian friends. But damn it, he wasn't going to give in! Ace was _not_ going to win this round. Paying him and his internal dilemma no mind, Miki bent down to address the tyke. "Hey there, little guy. What's your name? I'm Miki. Are you lost?"

"No." Ace decided grimly after a moment's contemplation. Chubby cheeks were pulled into a frown - something Smoker had never seen on Ace's face so far. "No."

Well, that was new. Smoker would have thought Ace would charm the girl and have her wrapped around his finger - much like how he did with the female recruits at the Academy. This outright _disapproval _was new. Miki, going by the look on her face, wasn't expecting that reaction either.

Letting out a resigned sigh, Smoker decided to intervene before something goes wrong. "Ace...what are you doing here?"

Immediately, the clouded expression on his face cleared. Ace lifted his arms and beamed up at him, "Ace wants up!" He raised his arms even higher after a moment, pawing uselessly at his pants. Damn it, he was talking like Hina. But, under the expectant gaze of Miki and the demanding one that promised trouble, Smoker relented.

"He's Vice-Admiral Garp's grandson, Ace." Smoker explained. Ace, who should be in the care of Marsen, back at the Academy.

"Ooh," Miki hummed in understanding. "I didn't know the Hero had a grandson..."

With surprising upper body strength and coordination, Ace moved and shifted in Smoker's secure arms until he was comfortable. Smoker paid him no mind in favour of continuing his conversation with Miki. But it seems Ace could not and would not tolerate playing second fiddle to anyone. And so, he did what any attention-seeking brat did.

He bit him.

"Eh...is Ace-chan..._biting - _?"

"Don't mind him." Smoker said, unflinchingly even as Ace increased the pressure on the mouthful of flesh he currently had between his jaws. "He's just acting like a _spoiled brat_."

"A-are you sure, Smoker-kun?"

"_Yes_."

He was gnawing at him quite enthusiastically now, making happy noises every so often. Did Garp starve this child or something?

"May-maybe he's hungry?"

"Don't worry." Smoker replied, blandly. "He does this all the time."

"Oh." Miki looked on at the considerable progress Ace was making along Smoker's neck. The conversation, which had previously been so interesting, had no chance of picking back up again. It was hard to have a good conversation when one was being gnawed on by a cannibalistic toddler with the misleading face of an angel. "Ah well, you look like you have your hands full at the moment, Smoker-kun..."

"Yeah, I guess."

"I guess, I should get going..."

"Alright."

"It was nice meeting you, Smoker-kun."

"Yeah, it was nice." It had been really nice.

"Maybe we can catch up when you're in town again?"

"Sure." But Smoker knew it wasn't a possibility. As if the Commander would ever let him out again. A trip to town was usually a reward for good behaviour - something Smoker didn't know the meaning of.

"Ahah, well take care, Smoker-kun. Bye-bye, Ace-chan!" Smoker watched her go helplessly.

"...She's gone, brat." The nibbling stopped immediately. Smoker glowered at the empty space in front of him, "I hate you so much."

"Hungry..." Ace smiled and opened his mouth. "Food."

Smoker was going to kill Marsen for this.

(LOL! Sexual harassment at the age of two. I'm so proud of him! I hadn't even realized that it was like Ace giving Smoker hickeys until I finished.)

16.

After eating up whatever funds he had left, Smoker and Ace headed back to the Academy. Not even a quarter way through, Ace had lost all motivation to keep walking so Smoker was forced to carry the brat. Smoker reasoned that Ace hadn't cost him too much this visit so he was in the mood to be kind.

The boy's endurance actually surprised him. He had walked far longer than expected. Heh. He just might turn out to be the powerful, upstanding marine officer Vice-Admiral Garp hoped for. But going by Ace's evil streak and penchant for spreading chaos, he just might turn out to be a bloody pirate.

Smoker smirked.

Now wouldn't that be great? Then, as a marine officer, Smoker would be obligated to arrest the punk. That was something he'll do without a moment's hesitation. He just couldn't wait.

"Hina not impressed."

"With your general lack of in personality?" Smoker sniped back as he walked past the pink haired teen. Hina was never too impressed with anything so Smoker didn't bother to even show concern. Oddly enough, her disapproving gaze wasn't levelled at him - rather, at the boy tucked securely in his arms.

"Smoker-kun is in trouble."

"What? Why? I didn't _do _anything this time!"

"Hina - "

"There he is! He took him! Smoker!" Marsen.

"As Hina was _saying_, everyone is convinced that you took Ace-chan, Smoker-kun." Hina frowned, obviously irritated for being interrupted. She showed her displeasure by locking Marsen and sitting on him.

It didn't take long for Smoker to put two and two together. "Marsen, you little shit. You _lost _him!"

"No! You _took _him!"

Voices were approaching, among them, Smoker could make out Vice-Admiral Garp's boisterous laugh. Leave it to that man to be amused when his grandson disappears.

"Be _quiet_, idiot." Hina hissed, pointedly slamming the heel of her shoe into Marsen. "How did Smoker-kun find Ace-chan?"

"I didn't." Smoker replied dully. "He found me."

"Impossible!" Marsen interjected, "How can a two year old leave the Marine Academy, find his way into town and _find you _of all people in less than two hours?!"

"Because his keeper was a useless sack of shit."

"You bastard! You! You took him! Damn it, Hina! Let me go!"

"Hina doesn't want to."

"Why the hell would I _want _him?"

"Deny all you want you little shit, but - "

"This is no way to behave in - " Hina tried to cut in.

"Shut it!" The two screamed.

Wait...

That wasn't Hina...

"C-C-C-C-Com..."

"Mess hall duty for the next month."

"Y-yes ma'am..."


	5. 17 to 20

17.

The next year, Vice-Admiral Garp came alone. It was both a disappointment and relief to the trio.

While Smoker was the obvious focus of the brat's affections, Bosco had fallen victim immediately to his charms. As for Ace, he had no problem manipulating Bosco to suit his needs. It was Smoker who had taken time to wear down. This year, Smoker had stopped referring to Ace as an it in passing conversations. That was significant progress indeed. And as for Hina? She had long since claimed both boys as her personal possessions and Ace was an unwanted interloper at best. She had not taken kindly to Smoker referring to her as the boy's mother. Smoker had been locked up for the longest time.

The fact that the boy still didn't like her also put her in the mother of all moods.

The week that Vice-Admiral Garp stayed had been much too quiet. Without a mischievous toddler to chase after and crowds of angry Marines to run away from at this time of year... it felt odd. So, they found themselves at a loss. Gathered around the fountain in Lieutenant Commander Sheila's garden (not the tulips - they had been forever banned from the tulips since _Ace), _they commiserated in their freedom - if that made any sense at all.

"Maa~ I trained extra hard for this year too. What a waste." Bosco was the first to vocally express his disappointment. Hina was too much of a priss to admit she had wanted Ace around and Smoker... Smoker was just too proud, probably. After spending so much time with Hina and Smoker, one who was at the top of her class and model Marine candidate while the other was the loose cannon, Bosco had learned that if he didn't speak up he'd be overshadowed by the two. "I trained so, so hard. I was so _sure_ I could handle him this year."

"Training for such a reason is stupid. Hina disappointed."

"Hmm..." It was true though. Smoker had also been determined to best the brat this year. Their usual interludes always ended the same way, with the three of them in various states of defeat and humiliation. Even Hina - once they had convinced her to help them out for last year's visit. "Maybe next year."

"Hina thinks you're _both_ stupid." But her words lacked any heat behind them.

"Yeah..." Bosco exhaled, "maybe next year, we'll get Ace for sure."

"...Hina wonders why Ace-chan couldn't come this year?"

"Who knows..." Smoker grunted, covering his eyes with one forearm. "We have one more year to prepare."

"...next year's our last year..." Hina reminded them gently. Next year would be the end of the Ace vs Three Marines. Not only that, next year would be the end of the Three Marines. There was no way they would be stationed together after all.

"Doesn't matter. We'll make it worth it." Bosco replied. "We'll definitely get him next year."

"I -"

"Bwahahah! So you _do_ want Ace to visit, you little snots!"

All three of them leapt up to their feet and bowed, "Vice-Admiral Garp, sir!" But Bosco didn't stop there. "I swear, sir, I _swear_, Marine's honour! We weren't going to tie him up and dangle him from a tree this year! Absolutely not! Not to _your_ grandson, sir! No sir! I -"

"Shut up, idiot!" Both Hina and Smoker silenced him, cruelly and efficiently.

"Bwahahahahahah! Punks these days!" Was Garp amused by everything? After another bout of insane laughter, Garp finally calmed down enough to reach into the folds of his Marine coat. And withdrew a thin envelope. "Here." He passed it to Smoker. The Vice-Admiral disappeared.

The envelope contained one photo.

Smoker felt that damn tic under his eye twitch - as it always did when something Ace-related irritates him.

"...Hina wants a copy."

"Me too! Me too!"

something like this

18.

After four painful years in the Academy, he was finished. Graduation Day couldn't have come any sooner in Smoker's opinion. Dressed in the full marine ensemble - damned necktie and all - Smoker was ready. Ready to graduate. Ready to serve. Ready to strip every stitch he wore.

Fucking starchy neckties!

"Smoker-kun, stop ruining Hina's work!" The bossy tones of one Hina stopped his tugging. Bosco let out a strangled gasp as Hina adjusted his own navy blue necktie.

"Yeah, _Smoker-kuuun~!_" The others jeered. Tch. They were just jealous. Most of the others would willingly give up an arm to have Hina around them for any period of time. Female graduates weren't supposed to be in the designated waiting room for their male counterparts, but Hina had always acted as if she were above these things. Much like Smoker, except she manages to get away with her bouts of rebellion. Guiltily, Smoker stopped twitching. If it wasn't for Hina, he would have not been ready for graduation. Bosco had been no help whatsoever. He was equally as clueless and Hina had her work cut out for her, helping the two of them.

So, Smoker decided to sit silently and submit himself to her complete control, as did Bosco. Honestly, he no longer remembered a time when he did resist her. Maybe back during their first year as students... maybe.

Hina was the top of their class and had gained a large following of admirers over the years. As soon as her breasts made an appearance, the memories of being tormented by her had collectively disappeared from the minds of his fellow boys. Smoker had been quite appalled, he remembered that much.

The future of the marines were in the hands of horn dogs.

When he had voiced these sentiments to Bosco and Hina, Hina merely glimmered ominously, "Hina will be Fleet Admiral yet." Smoker shuddered.

"Pay attention, Smoker-kun, Bosco-kun!" Hina snapped, "Hina _vexed_."

"...Sorry."

The door slammed open. It was their Swordsmaster, Keichi-dono. "Five minutes, you scum! Get into a line!" He paused once he caught sight of Hina's pink hair. "Ah, Hina-san, please make your way to the women's chambers as soon as you're done." Then he was gone - with a _smile_.

"...How do you _do_ that?" Keichi-dono was a foul-mouthed and downright unpleasant bastard on his best days. "What the _hell_ did you do to him?" With one final tug at both their neckties, Hina declared her work finished. She waltzed right out of the chamber.

Lined up together in alphabetical order, Smoker could hear the rumblings of feet and voices overheard. The ceremony was about to start. Friends and family had gathered to witness their accomplishments. Somewhere in the crowd, he was sure his parents were watching - somewhere in the masses. Bosco had mentioned his aunt was coming while Hina - Hina's father was stationed in North Blue and her mother in the Grand Line. Neither could make it but she hardly cared one way or another. Commander Trish was finishing her speech and over the noise, Smoker could make out words like 'survival', 'honour', 'service' and 'pride'.

Yeah, yeah, hurry it up and let him strip already. Smoker didn't dare voice his thoughts aloud though. Bosco was in hearing range and recently, he wasn't above using force to get his disapproval across. He was being cowed by both his friends now. What was the world coming to?

Finally, the double doors leading out up into the pavilion opened. They filed out into the openness. There was a solemn silence as each graduate made their way up to the stage when their name was called. On the stage, Commander Trish shook their hand and handed them their certification and a letter detailing where they were to be stationed.

Bosco, Marsen, Wada, Hina... one after another, they all went and left. Then, finally, it was his turn.

"So you did make it out alive, punk." Commander Trish looked almost proud.

"Thanks." Accepted papers, shook hands, descend from the stage. It was as rehearsed.

And then - "AH! JII-CHAN! IT'S SMOKEY!"

Oh. My. God.

Smoker met the stunned eyes of Hina and Bosco, who were waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs before they headed to their seats.

"HEEEEEEEY! SMOKEY-NII! SMOKEY! IT'S MEEE! SURPRISE!"

It couldn't be...

"BWAHAHHAHAHAHAH! QUIET ACE! YOU'RE DISRUPTING THE CEREMONY!"

Grind. grind. grind. went Smoker's teeth.

"SMOKEY-NII LOOKS SO COOL! I WANT!"

"SMOKER~!" If it was possible to sound scarily excited yet blissful at the same time, Garp managed to do so. "YOU'VE DONE IT MY BOY! MY ACE IS GOING TO BE A STRONG MARINE, ALL BECAUSE OF _YOU~!" _

"Eh? Who said I wanted to be a marine?" BAM!

Smoker sighed and trudged away. "Kill me."

Neither of his friends complied. Those pricks.

19.

"Took you long enough to get to us. Hina annoyed."

Bosco smirked and swung an affectionate arm around Smoker and the other around Hina, "More like, Hina jealous. Ahha - ow, ow, ow, _ow. **Hina**_..."

"Whatever." Smoker groused. He wasn't in the mood. He had been stuck with one admiring Garp, one weeping mother and one overly-clingy Ace all evening. "Let's go."

Sneaking past the celebrating crowds and servers was a simple task. It took a little more time than expected when Ace almost caught onto their trails, but with one well played diversionary tactic, they were free.

Settling down around their fountain, the three pulled out their letters. It was time.

"...East Blue..." Smoker was the first to announce. His brows furrowed deeply.

"...West Blue." Hina reluctantly answered. "Hina -"

"South Blue."

Three sighs.

"I guess this is it then..."

"Yeah..."

"Hina expected as much." Hina crossed her arms, almost smugly. But her lips were pulled down in a disappointed frown. "So, Hina has prepared a few _words _for her boys."

"Oi, will you stop calling us that?" Smoker groused. It just sounded so... and people always thought... and honestly... Hina raised a brow and Smoker sighed. It wasn't time to argue about these things anyway.

"Maa~," Bosco drawled, "Most people would kill to be Hina's anything, Smoker-kun." Smoker sniffed. "Anyway, I've also prepared a few words too! I guess great minds do think alike, eh, Hina-chan?"

"Hmm." And as one, Hina and Bosco looked at Smoker expectantly. He stared back, just as blankly.

"Just _how_ is he going to last without us, Hina-chan?"

"Hina not impressed." Was the ominously intoned response.

Smoker also wondered how he was going to get along without them. Bosco and Hina, Hina and Bosco - those two had long since crept into his life and made a lasting impression. There was no turning back now - he knew that as soon as he had his ass handed to him by Hina and knew it just as well when he rescued Bosco so long ago.

He had no idea, but he'll make it up as he goes, of course. Whoever this Captain Danus was, he'll do his duty.

At the expectant faces of his friends, Smoker shrugged. "You two go first. I'll think of something."

20.

He had actually lasted a little over a year under Captain Danus's authority - which was surprising. Hina had actually bet he'd get his ass kicked back to the Academy after three months. Bosco? He had bet he'd go rogue and end up as a fucking pirate. Pirate _scum_. Bosco was such an idiot.

He had lasted a year and few weeks before he was shipped back to the Academy. Insubordination.

And to make matters worse, it was Vice Admiral Garp who was going to bring him back to East Blue. Smoker was actually _embarrassed_. If it had been anyone else - hell, even Marsen would have been preferable. Vice Admiral Garp was the Marine Hero, what every marine strove to be. And now, he was here to see him demoted back to the Academy. And as always, he brought Ace along.

"Don't be sad, Smokey-nii. That baldy captain looked like a dick."

"...just where did you learn that word, brat?"

"Ehh, cheer up, Smokey-nii." Planting himself firmly in Smoker's lap, one five-year-old Portgas D. Ace, who really had no right to be on a Marine ship in the first place, gave him a hug. And reached up in an attempt to pat him on the head reassuringly. Ace only made it to his jaw. Grinning all the while, Ace continued. "He looked like a downright fucktard. Do you think he's got a ten foot pole stuck up his ass?"

"_What_?"

"I don't think ten feet would actually fit..." Ace frowned thoughtfully, "He's short. Maybe five?"

Smoker couldn't help it. He smiled. "Don't let your grandfather hear you say these things..."

"What do you mean? He says them all the time!"

"_What_?!"

"Anyway," Ace dismissed his shock and settled down once more in his lap, tiny arms clinging to his larger one. "You need to stop moping. Jii-chan'll try to beat the grumpy out of you, if you don't."

"Right..."

"I know what'll cheer you up!" Ace beamed once more. Smoker suspected if the brat smiled anymore, his face would crack in half.

"Food." "Food!"

"Waaah! Smokey-nii knows me so well! To the galley!" Smoker, like the longsuffering brother that he was turning out to be, followed obediently.

And this concludes the story of how Ace accidentally fed Smoker the Moku Moku no Mi.


End file.
